I’ve been thinking a lot about my sense of identity and my sense of self. I’ve felt lost these past few weeks. I don’t know who I should be or who I’m trying to be. It’s strange, it’s like the person that I am is somehow alien to me. I don’t feel familiar as if I’ve lost the things that I used to be.
Not all of this feels bad. It’s an unsettled feeling, that feeling of not being quite right. The most annoying thing about it is that there doesn’t seem to be a source for feeling unsettled. I want to feel like myself again.
A few weeks ago I laughed a lot more, I smiled more and I was more sociable. Now, I feel as though all my emotions have dulled and the person that I am now isn’t really me. How do I find the thing that I’ve lost if what I’ve lost is me? It’s strange. All I want is to feel like myself again.
I’ve lost my curiosity and I don’t feel as bright as I used to. Maybe if I keep going and live like I used to and maybe try new things, I might feel like me again.