More

Maybe if we all wanted less and thought about the things that we really needed in life we’d feel freer. We’d think more about what we have rather than constantly filling our homes with trinkets and items. Humans seem to have an insatiable appetite for things, as if having more is somehow going to protect us from the pain of loss. It’s strange to think that. Why is that we are always trying to obtain more even though more is never quite enough?

Maybe it’s just human nature to want more and to seek for more. If our ancestors hadn’t, the human race would likely not have come as far as it has. We might not have roamed the lands looking for better food or shelter. We might not have made such extraordinary discoveries about our universe. We might not have discovered our own consciousness.

However, in our journey towards more, we lost something. We lost our empathy towards nature.We forgot about the land that gave us food and shelter. We forgot how to walk upon the earth without leaving scars.

Although, our human nature tells us to seek for more, our awoken consciousness also speaks and says that more is not the answer to everything.

 

Career

Six letters that are supposed to encompass the trajectory of your working life. Where do I even begin if I can’t focus on, can’t choose what path I’m going to take? Inundated with choices and options and maybes and ‘that sounds good’ but never being able to determine whether that or this will be satisfying. In a word, frustrating.

Career.

Minimalism – a start

There’s a lot of stuff that I’ve kept over the years which I don’t use anymore. Some of these things I’ve kept in a drawer I haven’t opened in over four years. I finally decided to open said drawer and discovered that there were posters there from my youth that I’d now be embarrassed to display on my bedroom walls. I got rid of them and it’s all part of living more with less. An idea I adopted when I found a video while trawling through YouTube:

http://tinyurl.com/o4q7ll2

Buying less stuff is not entirely unfamiliar to me. Going through university with a meager allowance certainly helped to turn the tide on my spending. It’s getting rid of things that I find more difficult. I’m still in the process of getting rid of stuff. I’ve given myself another month to give away, donate or sell the things I don’t want or use anymore.

It’s therapeutic getting rid of things and knowing that I’m going to have less things. It’s freeing simply because I don’t have to worry about something I own. Being less materialistic emphasises what’s really important, like surrounding yourself with people rather than things.

So far, my proudest moment was walking into a warehouse sale and walking out with nothing.

 

 

Who am I?

A list of things I like doing:

  • Writing
  • Singing
  • Talking to people and learning about their stories
  • Cooking
  • Listening to stories
  • Learning languages and hearing them
  • Learning about other countries
  • Thinking about travelling (I have yet to plan a trip)
  • Thinking about creating things (I fail in doing because a part of me is afraid. I am in the process of slowly taking down the wall of fear)

A list of things I care about:

  • Family
  • Friends
  • The environment
  • Finding balance in my life
  • Feeling one with nature
  • Living in an environmentally friendly way
  • Art and culture
  • People and connecting with them

A list of things that are important to me:

  • Family
  • Friendship
  • Living out my beliefs and values
  • Living a less materialistic lifestyle
  • My health
  • Being true to myself

6 Questions I Ask Myself When I Don’t Know What I Should Do With My Life

I have a lot of questions about what the future will bring and what could happen in my life as I continue my journey into adulthood. I know they won’t be answered immediately, however, I feel the need to ask them anyway, so that some light may be shed on my next move when the year ends and what I can do now to prepare myself as I move into the next phase of my life.

Question 1: Where did I think I would be by now?

I’m nearing twenty-one and I had a lot ideas about what life might have been like when I reached this stage of my life but nothing I ever imagined came true. For example, I thought I’d have interned somewhere or had a part-time job while I studied. Those things didn’t happen and I feel as though it was a failure on my part for not having ‘tried hard enough’ but at the same time I accept and understand that maybe chance and opportunity were not on my side.

Question 2: Where am I right now?

I’m in my last year of my Bachelor’s degree, which I’m about to complete at the end of the coming semester, and on top of that, I’m turning twenty-one soon.Twenty-one doesn’t seem like such a big number but when I count the days since I turned eighteen and dreamed about attending university and finding a career and making a name for myself, I can see how far time has moved and how much I haven’t. In some ways I feel as though I have chosen to remain stagnant. As if I didn’t do enough to try and get to where I wanted to be.

Question 3: What does a retrospective of my life look like?

When I look back on the years and examine how I spent them, I feel as though that’s not entirely true. When I ask myself: Did I work hard? Did I try? A small voice in the back of my mind says, ‘Yes.’ There are things that I have done to try and move myself along. There are places I have been and people that I have met that remind me I have moved with the time that has passed.

Question 4: What have I learned?

There are a number of experiences, which I have, that make me who I am and I can use those experiences in the future to make myself a better person, and to remind me that I have lived and am alive. The person that I am today is not going to be the same me as tomorrow.

Question 5: Where to now?

From here, I’d like to continue to move forward. I want to build strong relationships with people. I want to be more confident in myself. I want to try new things and I want to do what I can to find a fulfilling career.

Question 6: How do I go about doing that?

  • I will try and meet new people
  • I won’t be afraid of putting myself out there
  • I will try out different things and opportunities
  • I won’t be afraid of making mistakes
  • I will continue to nourish my relationships with my friends and family
  • I won’t be afraid to be myself

Arbitrary days

Life is random. We try to make sense of it by believing we have a path that we can walk along.

We convince ourselves that the people we meet, the places we go to, the decisions we make occurred because there was reason in it. What if it’s not?

There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s OK. Life is a series of arbitrary events that make each individual’s story unique.

Our brains can’t fathom the idea that our memories are composed of chance encounters. So, we rearrange and manipulate our past until they form connections so that we can better understand our present and move towards the future. Doing that, life doesn’t seem so random.

‘You’re beautiful’

No one has ever told my sister that she is ugly. I asked her myself,

‘Has anyone ever said that you are “ugly”?’

‘No.’

There are days when she looks in a mirror with me in the room and she says,

‘I am ugly.’

I wonder how often she repeats these words to herself when there’s no one listening. I tell her,

‘That’s not true, you’re beautiful.’ I say it over and over again until she tells me to stop. That’s when I look into her eyes and say,

‘You’re beautiful.’

My sister was not taught to hate the way she looks. Her insecurities grew because she was surrounded by images of an “ideal” that she couldn’t turn herself into. She was assaulted with “views” and “looks” that were manufactured to symoblise ‘perfection.’ A notion that was impossible for such a young girl to carry on her shoulders.

As she couldn’t attain her “ideal self” that the society around her so cruelly asked for, she came to a simple conclusion. She was ‘ugly.’

With some encouragement slowly, my sister is beginning to accept the person that she is. She has a way to go but I know she is strong. She’s beginning to see that there are more important aspects that make her who she is and it’s not just about the way she looks.

There are too many people out there telling themselves things that are not true. What they need is someone looking from the outside to recognise the person that is within.

Look after those around you. Tell them they are beautiful.

Musings

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking. So much time that I miss out on actually doing things. I can’t help it. I’ve always been a thinker. I don’t do much with my thoughts. Occasionally I write them down if they get too much but for the most part, I spend a lot of time wandering through corridors, opening and closing doors, and staring out imaginary windows. I’m a dreamer.

Lately though, I’ve been thinking about turning some of those dreams into reality. The thing is, I don’t know which one to choose. I float aimlessly from thought to thought without really caring too much about what it means. I recently realised that I do this in real life too. I walk around hoping to find something, something meaningful, something worthwhile, anything that could make my journey through life clearer or if I’m feeling optimistic, add purpose to it. So far, I haven’t found anything.

I’ve been trying to find meaning in my life for a long time. At the moment, I’m going through the motions. Each step I take, I hope to get closer to my true ‘calling,’ but no matter how hard I look, the path becomes windier and more overgrown that I lose track of where it leads.

I try to find inspiration by watching videos, listening to what other people have to say, reading, and looking up into the sky. Strange as it may sound, looking up makes everything feel small and insignificant, and I feel calm. Cloudy days, sunny days, it doesn’t matter. As long as I can look up into the sky, I’ll know that at the very least, I’m trying.

Sometimes I wish I had a passion for something. No, I wish I had a passion.

Maybe life wouldn’t seem so scary if I actually knew what I was doing.