The feeling of life moving and shifting while I remain still and merely exist as it pulses around me. The sound of car tyres rushing along the bitumen and of feet hitting the pavement. The smell of gasoline as it escapes from a hot exhaust pipe. The feel of dry air and warm sun touching my skin as I sit on a park bench. Life is a series of moments that come together to paint a picture, which I call my story.Interlacing events, which build on top of each other to create my experience of the world around me.
I am only human and I only have so much time, what am I going to do with it all? My fear is that I won’t have enough to be able to achieve my goals and to move towards the success I want for myself. What can I do today to walk away from my fear, what can I do today to move closer towards my goals? What is the story I hope to tell and how do I want to tell it?
I am my own jigsaw puzzle. I have to solve myself first before I can imagine trying to solve everyone else. So, what is it that I want to say?
I want to be bigger and better than I already am. I want to be the biggest and the best that I can be. I will be all of this and more. I hope to be somebody, I will be somebody.
Just because I’ve managed to stay whole doesn’t mean you have the right to try and tear me apart to ease your broken soul.
If you need help, I’m here for you. I’m only sorry that I didn’t see that you were in pain sooner and only found out when a close friend of yours told me. You’re still not over her, I understand, you must be in a lot of pain. If I had known, I probably would not have slept with you. But you didn’t have to take your frustration out on me. Calling me names and degrading me, all because of the fact that you and I had carnal knowledge of each other. Maybe it was your way of protecting yourself, your way of stopping me from developing feelings, your way of venting how used you felt after it happened. I don’t know exactly why you said all those mean things and the silly thing is, neither do you. I was angry at you for treating me that way, especially because I didn’t understand why. But knowing now what you went through, what you’re still going through, I understand a little better. It doesn’t justify your actions but I can empathise with you and I feel sorry for you.
I hope you find peace within yourself and make peace with the people around you.
I would much rather see you smile and just so you know, I’ll be trying my best to make your face light up.